What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This baby is an asshole
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
