the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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