shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
