bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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