butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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