I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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