guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
