please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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