Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
