Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize