I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
