Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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