I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
