I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize