you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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