Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
