some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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