Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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