I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
