we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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