hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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