youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
