I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
