Betty ford says i'm here all night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
