I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
