butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
