Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
