You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
