Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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