Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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