we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize