dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All the doctor said was why
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
