pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need to calm my uterus...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A bitchslap is in order.
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