i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
