I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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