Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dick has a subreddit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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