It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
