i was born a porn star she said
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
