For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
