I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
