just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
