i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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