so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
