There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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