is your mom at the bar?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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