some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
