Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
