I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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