This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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