smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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