He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize