Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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