i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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