She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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