had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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